Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
