...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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