Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
