Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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