A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
