No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
