i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
