Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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