neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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