Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He kissed a someone with a penis
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
