Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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