It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
