Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
