Can Purell be used as lube?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
