Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I stole a fireplace last night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
