sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
