I think my vagina is haunted
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We had sex on a dog bed..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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