I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
