We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
