Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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