I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
