it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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