I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
