Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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