you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
