this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
