oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
