One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I want is dick and wine.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
