Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
