idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
