"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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