he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize