My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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