Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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