Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize