You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
