just come out here and I will go home with you...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if only i could text you this smell
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
