Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
