i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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