He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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