You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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