i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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