In the future we'll all be gay
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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