so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
