HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
honey bunches of taint.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize