Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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