meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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