I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize