I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
