Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
