I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
