is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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