Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
