Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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