I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm going to jail i love you
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
