Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
