I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
