dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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