Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
