I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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