Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
