I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
