I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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